"H..Hello?" I croak. It's 3:30am, and I have to be up at 6:30 to teach improv at a summer camp for high school students.
"Junior?" it's a tearful voice that comes out sounding more like "JERRRNYER?"
"This is her." I sit up and rub my eyes. I look at the caller I.D. I sigh as I realize exactly how the next ten minutes are about to play out.
"Junior, it's me. Can you come pick me up?" I can hardly hear Owen's voice over the pumping music and laughter in the background.
"Owen you know I don't drive." I remind him for the 15th time in the last four months.
"Oh yeahthatsright," he slurs. "It's just. I'm TOTALLY SMASHED." he emphasizes this with a hiccup, followed by what sounds like a gag. "I was wondering if you could be my Decimated driver...Disintegrated Driver... Integrated Driver... whatever just take me home please..."
"Owen, I don't drive. I don't even have my license... Or a car."
"I know I know IknowIknowIknowIknowIknow... but you can totally use mine. I'll even give you my keys." He obviously thinks this plan is brilliant, based off the smile in his voice.
"How can I get to you in YOUR car if you took it to get wherever you're AT?"
He obviously hadn't thought about this.
"Junior, have I ever told you what you're like?"
Here we go.
"You're like those days, where, where, where it's REALLY super hot outside, but then you walk inside, and the air conditioner is on REALLY super cold? And then you eat a bowl of Lucky Charms..."
"Thank you, Owen, I'm more than happy to be your Lucky Charms."
"Yeah..." he sighs dejectedly, "You're like the White Ranger. So unexpected, you know? Everybody knew the White Ranger should have been called the Gold Ranger. Everybody knew he was just so GOLD..." another sigh, "But YOU, you're the REAL White Ranger..."
"Thank you, Owen."
"Yeah..." he hiccups again. Then gags. "I think I'm gonna be SICK"-- the line goes dead.
I hit "end", then place the phone on my night stand. Just another day being the college "Girl Who Doesn't Drink".
Because people know they can count on you for... well, I'm not quite sure exactly...
Because you earn a unique level of respect from the party-hoppers.
Because Sober Is Sexy
"Junior?" it's a tearful voice that comes out sounding more like "JERRRNYER?"
"This is her." I sit up and rub my eyes. I look at the caller I.D. I sigh as I realize exactly how the next ten minutes are about to play out.
"Junior, it's me. Can you come pick me up?" I can hardly hear Owen's voice over the pumping music and laughter in the background.
"Owen you know I don't drive." I remind him for the 15th time in the last four months.
"Oh yeahthatsright," he slurs. "It's just. I'm TOTALLY SMASHED." he emphasizes this with a hiccup, followed by what sounds like a gag. "I was wondering if you could be my Decimated driver...Disintegrated Driver... Integrated Driver... whatever just take me home please..."
"Owen, I don't drive. I don't even have my license... Or a car."
"I know I know IknowIknowIknowIknowIknow... but you can totally use mine. I'll even give you my keys." He obviously thinks this plan is brilliant, based off the smile in his voice.
"How can I get to you in YOUR car if you took it to get wherever you're AT?"
He obviously hadn't thought about this.
"Junior, have I ever told you what you're like?"
Here we go.
"You're like those days, where, where, where it's REALLY super hot outside, but then you walk inside, and the air conditioner is on REALLY super cold? And then you eat a bowl of Lucky Charms..."
"Thank you, Owen, I'm more than happy to be your Lucky Charms."
"Yeah..." he sighs dejectedly, "You're like the White Ranger. So unexpected, you know? Everybody knew the White Ranger should have been called the Gold Ranger. Everybody knew he was just so GOLD..." another sigh, "But YOU, you're the REAL White Ranger..."
"Thank you, Owen."
"Yeah..." he hiccups again. Then gags. "I think I'm gonna be SICK"-- the line goes dead.
I hit "end", then place the phone on my night stand. Just another day being the college "Girl Who Doesn't Drink".
Because people know they can count on you for... well, I'm not quite sure exactly...
Because you earn a unique level of respect from the party-hoppers.
Because Sober Is Sexy
Because that's just How It Is
0 comments:
Post a Comment